The Weight of “If Only”

The Weight of “If Only”

How many times have you whispered those two words to yourself?

If only.

If only I had thought longer. Looked ahead. Asked more questions. Waited. Paid attention to the feeling that something wasn’t quite right. Written something down.

We all have moments in our past that feel like they were driven more by impulse than intention. Maybe it was a relationship you rushed into, a job you stayed in too long, a move you made out of fear instead of faith. For me, some of those choices came from loneliness disguised as attraction, or from wanting a quick solution instead of sitting with discomfort a little longer. But now, the weight of “If Only” I had done something else, is real.

And I have paid a price. Sometimes a high one.

But here’s what I know now:

“If only” doesn’t have to be the end of the story. It can be a signal. A whisper from the wiser self that has emerged through the fire.

It means you see more now. You understand yourself more deeply. You’re not sleepwalking anymore.

Because of this:

Instead of staying stuck in regret, we can use these moments as markers of growth. Evidence of awakening. That old choice? It wasn’t a waste. It was part of the process of becoming.

So today, instead of dragging around a suitcase full of “if only,” try asking:

What did I learn? What am I no longer willing to ignore? What can I choose differently now?

You get to wake up, again and again. You get to walk forward, lighter.

As a result, next time, you won’t just react. You’ll pause. Breathe. Choose.

You’re not who you were then. And you don’t have to carry it anymore.

Not even for one more step.