Recovery Isn’t Linear – It’s a Three-Legged Race

Recovery Isn’t Linear – It’s a Three-Legged Race

Recovery from a toxic relationship—or from any deep emotional wound—is rarely a straight line. In fact, it can feel more like one step forward, two steps back. But that doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re adjusting.

Think back to school days and the classic three-legged race. Two people, one rope, and a whole lot of awkward stumbling, falling over and laughing to keep going. You had to recover, coordinate, adapt, and keep trying. It took patience and determination just to take a few steps forward.

Healing feels like a 3-legged race

That’s what recovery and healing feels like. Especially after a toxic relationship. But I learned how to move without being tied to someone else’s chaos, drama, or distortion of reality. As a result, I felt freer, I could breathe and begin to see my part in the race.

Beware the wish to go back

It’s easy to fall into the trap of saying, “I wish I could go back to who I used to be.” Then you must beware of the wish. Was the ‘old you’ truly confident? Were you grounded and secure? Or were you quietly coping, over-functioning, or bending yourself into knots just to keep the peace?

After all, you don’ need to go back. You’re not a version of your past. You are a creation in progress. Let’s not aim for ‘normal‘ – let’s aim for something *better*.

🧠 In fact, let’s make a new recovery affirmation

“I’m going to be better than I ever have been before. This is my time for progress”

Let’s take the next step—awkward, beautiful, wobbly and all.