Chaining The Fangs
🐍 Chaining the Fangs
G is for Guilt in the FOG of Emotional Blackmail.
A relationship, like a carton of milk, can go sour.
Leave it out too long—no matter how hard you shake it, sweet’s not coming back.
When it comes to guilt, narcissists know how to spoil things fast.
They set up secret emotional tests:
If you react? They file it away.
If you forgive a lie? They double down.
If you seem confused? Jackpot.
They don’t see you as a partner.
You’re not even a person.
You’re a power source—fuel for their ego.
They build a tankful, then vanish. Or worse, they stick around just long enough to keep you hooked, ashamed, and guessing.
😠 The Snakeface and the Smirk
I didn’t have a word for it—until I read Robert I. Sutton’s book The Asshole Survival Guide.
He nailed it: the “grin fucker.”
That smirk.
That snakeface.
The look that says “I just hurt you and I’m enjoying it.”
Guilt is their venom.
And if you’re stuck with that lump in your throat, trying to figure out what you did wrong—welcome to the trap.
🧠 The Deeper Wound
We don’t end up in these dynamics by accident.
We learned guilt young.
We learned to blame ourselves when others mistreated us.
We formed attachments based on old patterns, replaying the same emotional scripts:
“Maybe if I just love harder, I’ll finally get the peace I deserve.”
The narcissist knows this.
And they push the guilt until your own shame finishes the job.
🔓 Breaking the Pattern
It’s heartbreaking.
You gave everything—and got confusion, pain, and silence in return.
But once you start to see the imbalance, once you recognize that you’ve been stuck in a web of projections, you can begin to break free.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean going back.
Forgiveness means letting go of the illusion that you could ever fix someone who doesn’t want to change.
And when you chain the fangs of guilt?
You swallow without the golf ball stuck in your throat.
You breathe normally again.
The smirk on their face loses its power.
💬 A Gentle Note
If the guilt is overwhelming, don’t go it alone.
A trained professional can help you untangle what was never yours to carry.
This post isn’t about hate. It’s about healing.
Noticing. Naming. Releasing.
Because once you name it…
you’re no longer feeding the snake.